Living as a Family

Romans 12:18

Family of God #3 – Living as a Family

Intro:

1. Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. ‘
2. John Nolland To build a city on a hill is a piece of assertiveness. It expresses a certain confidence and a claim to importance, and flags a desire on the part of the inhabitants to play a wider role in human affairs. People who want to live a quiet and secluded life build their cities tucked out of sight in the hope that they won’t be noticed. The Gospel of Matthew: a commentary on the Greek text
3. Homes were lit with small terra-cotta oil-burning lamps. These could be carried around when required, but would normally sit on a stand conveniently located to provide a basic level of illumination for the whole dwelling (this is possible because the homes in mind consisted of single rooms, as was typically the case with Palestinian homes of the period).
4. Lighting a lamp in order to hide it under the something is as senseless as thinking that a city built on a hill can be kept from the sight of those who pass by. In order to fulfill their nature, those who are the light of the world must be prepared to be located in places of clear visibility.
5. This is all about a mission perspective. The outcome is that people are impressed by what God is currently doing.
6. Our city is broken by sin, and the God-designed role of the family has been fractured.Because of this, our church must be a visible, living example of what it means to live as a family the way God intended—so people can find a place to belong that glorifies Jesus and points them to Him.

Get ready to be visible!

1. This is not to scare you but to make you realize that with Jesus, you are different from the average person! You do stand out! BUT
2. Luke 8:16-17 ‘ “Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed; but he puts it on a lampstand, so that those who come in may see the light. For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light. ‘
3. If I come into your house and you have most of the lights off in an attempt to hide the mess, it’s still visible, even if you don’t think so.
4. If our church is hiding sin or not following the commands of Jesus, it will come to light!
5. Perfection is not the goal here but rather, reliance on God and our church family so that others learn to do the same!

What fruit do we want evident in our church?

1. Fruit: Love! Agape: selfless, sacrificial love
   1. John 13:34-35

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

2. Philippians 2:2-4 ‘Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. ‘

2. Fruit: Unity: Harmony within a community (family)
   1. John 13:34′ Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. ‘
   2. Romans 12:18 ‘Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. ‘
   3. Does not mean we have to be everyone’s best friend or even like everyone.

How do we do this as individuals? (we are family, made up as individuals, what the individual does, affects the whole family)

1. How do we live as a family: Believe the best
   1. Currently people are suspicious, always wondering others motives (from a negative view)
   2. Family should be in a posture of grace
   3. Colossians 3:13 – ‘Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ‘
   4. DEF: The amount that something is permitted.
   5. Sewing definition : a built-in buffer for errors and future alterations, giving you “wiggle room” to make garments bigger or smaller”.
   6. Colossians 3:13 says allowances for faults, not sin. But sometimes, when we are hurting, we can equate someone’s faults with sin.
   7. Why? ‘“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? ‘Jeremiah 17:9
   8. In contrast 1 Cor. 13:4a – Love is patient, love is kind. (gives allowance)
   9. If we do not do this and suspicion settles into our spirit then it’s like: 1 Cor. 13.1 – ‘If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
   10. What settles in your heart starts to come out in your conversation!
2. How do we give allowance?
   1. Pray for the person!
      1. In the moment
      2. On your own
   2. Ask the Holy Spirit if your heart is deceiving you
   3. BONUS: What if it is sin?
      1. Matthew 18 – go to them! First!!!!!!
      2. I have seen this broken so many times.
      3. It is incredibly divisive! It is the opposite of unity!
      4. More later
3. Watch our words

1. Watch our language (my bible tiles this section as “living as children of the light”
   1. Ephesians 4:29 – 32 – ‘Don’t use foul or abusive language. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander
2. Watch our motives
   1. Are we believing the best or trying to comfort our own soul and wrong thinking?
   2. Are we believing the lies? From our past, our enemy etc.
   3. Luke 6:45 – ‘A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. ‘
3. Don’t gossip
   1. Bible “gossip” definition: whispering, tattling, spreading of secrets or rumors for the purpose of slander (which has to do with what I want/need)
   2. The Social Issues Research Centre found that 55 percent of men’s conversation and 67 percent of women’s conversation involve gossip. Research shows that women are more likely to participate in gossip than men
   3. Romans 1:29 – gossip is evil
   4. Gossip phrases

• “What do you think about…,
• did you hear,
• did you notice…”
• The gossip prayer request

5. If you hear these phrases this is how we should respond

• Please stop talking about that. I don’t want to gossip.
• Sounds like you are hurt. Have you prayed about that?
• Is this about a sin issue in their life? (Matthew 18)
• How to help with Matthew 18…

6. Why is gossip so serious?

• It brings pain to the person
• It is a way for us to feel “better” than someone else” (by pointing out their “flaws”)
• This is the opposite of Agape, what we want to produce in our church.
• It brings divisiveness and disunity, the opposite of the unity Christ wants for his Bride!

2. Encourage
   1. 1 Thess. 5:11 So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
3. Listen!
   1. James 1:19 – ‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ‘
   2. Listen to learn
   3. Listen to love
   4. Listen to serve
4. Agree to disagree
5. Serve one another
   1. ‘God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. ‘ 1 Peter 4:10
6. Honor one another
   1. Romans 12:10 – ‘Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
7. If you are struggling with these things (unity, love, gossip, listening, honoring etc. it is a sign of heart issues.

1. Wrong thoughts
2. Unhealed past
3. Unforgiveness
4. Bitterness

8. Prayer to pray: ‘Holy Spirit, please point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life and may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord , my rock and my redeemer.’ (Psalm 139:24, Psalm 19:14)

Why does all this matter?

1. How we treat each other as a family determines if others want to be a part of our church and how people view Jesus!
2. As this church grows, whatever WE are will determine what the church will be in the future!

What does the word say?

• Matthew 5:16 – Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.
• John 13:34-35 ‘So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” ‘
• Romans 15:5-6 ‘May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. ‘